Indian traditions- Men holding hands
For those of who who have been to India, You must be already aware of this phenomena.
Very often men from India can be seen walking down the road holding their hands in each others. Men from all walks of life, from villages to big cities can be seen holding hands and walking as if they are partners. Are they really Partners? Is it because they are gay? NO!
Let me tell You something about men in India. Men in India form a bond between each other from a very young age. They would find their best companions in each other.
In schools and colleges classes are divided into two rows. One row for the girls, and the other for men. We men are not supposed to mingle with women during class. During breaks it is ok to mingle with the opposite sex. That was the time where we could finally mingle with the girls 🙂 But if a teacher was about to find out that we were talking with the opposite sex during class, it would probably end up bad for the boys. Either we would be thrown out of the class, or we would have to go to the principal and apologise for our bad behaviour. As You can see we don’t have the possibility to easily bond with the opposite sex. The only option left is to find a good companion among our male friends. We would form a special bond with that other person. At school we were not holding hands & walking down the school yard(of course that would be weird). But i am trying to explain the bonds that men have with each other in India.
Some of them would grow up to be adults, and still keep this strong bond with the other male. They would share jokes, talk about their life and still keep that bond with each other.
Meanwhile in Poland, men and women are able to mingle with each other, form friendships and be in a relationship easily without the society judging them. It is infact considered as the norm.
Males have one or two buddies who they play football, go out with, drink beer etc.. Then they would have a female partner who they would share their life and form a strong emotional bond with. It would be abnormal for any male in Poland to not have a female partner. They don’t have to look for a male to form a strong companionship with. They could find support, companionship and understanding through their girl friend.
Can You imagine my life when i first step foot in Poland? For many years i was looking for a friend i could share everything that is happening in my life with. I mean this could be interpreted as something bad in Poland or anywhere in the west for that matter. I remember 3 or 4 years ago when i really missed having a male companion in my life. I was still used to the way i was brought up in India. When one of my friends in Poland would be too busy with their life or didn’t give me enough attention, i would seriously get depressed. I thought probably it was because something was wrong with me.
It took me sometime to understand the fact that, I am not living in India anymore. I could still have my male buddies, and have my own partner to share my problems, and stories with.
It is fascinating how much lesson one can learn while living in a foreign country. What works in one country, might not work in another country. What works in India, doesn’t have to work in Europe. Even though it took me sometime to forget my old behaviour, I am still happy to have changed my mindset. It has taken me one step closer to becoming more European(while still beholding my Indian values and roots)